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I’m not ready . . .

I’m not ready to stop. I’m not ready to let pain dictate to me what I can and can’t do. I have too much life to live to stop now. When I was told in early 2016 I had roughly seven deformities to my feet, I was devastated. I’m too young to sit in front of the television and watch life pass me by. There are still too many things I want to do. And besides my Paw lived to 99 years old and I plan on out living him, which means I have over 50 more years of life to live.

The doctor started rattling off the problems with my feet, very high and long arch, plantar fasciitis, Haglund’s deformity, the top of your foot isn’t a normal high arch but flat foot, heel pain syndrome, arch strain, metatarsalgia and multiple nerve problems on the top of your foot. As he was talking I went into a daze, his words began to sound like the adults on Charlie Brown. I heard, Blah, blah, blah, surgery, blah, blah take bones out and replace with metal plates. Blah, blah, you may never walk again. I just wanted to get out of there. I was doing my best to not burst out in tears. I got to my car and cried all the way home. I wanted my momma. My momma was bed ridden at this time so I called to make sure she was up for company. I cried all the way to her house and into her room. I leaned over the rail of her bed and cried until I could speak. She just held me and rubbed my head.

I finally gathered myself together and explained what they had told me. She was the momma I needed at the time, the soft, loving, caring emphatic momma, that encouraged me to never give up. She told me I would be fine and would land on my feet, no pun intended. She said we are going to pray and God is going heal you or he will open doors for you. After only a few minutes, I started feeling a peace. I knew I would be fine.

Over the next few months and years, I was fitted for custom orthotics, which didn’t help but made the pain worse. I’ve tried so many different types of shoes but they all hurt. I found that a simple little heel lift inside my tennis shoes helps a lot. I also started walking. I did my first 5K within a month of my diagnoses. I haven’t stopped since. I believe that if I would have owned it, I wouldn’t be walking today. I would’ve had surgery and could possibly being living in a wheelchair. But I didn’t own it, just the opposite, I fought it. I fought it with every part of me. Yes, I still live in pain, some days are better than others but the more I move, the better I feel.

I’m not ready to stop and until I just can’t move, I will keep pressing forward.

Reflections – I know that I can do anything I set my mind to do. God gave us the power to overcome, but how bad do you want it? There is always a way to live your best life. Even if I was in a wheelchair, I would find a way to enjoy my life to the fullest.

Life Happens – Walking Helps

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