When you are young you show respect to your parents. As you grow, you begin to deal with your own set of convictions, you don't want to disrespect your parents. You have to follow their rules and that isn't always easy. Then the time comes when you have your own home, you've started living your own life. Now, you have to make choices that will effect your life without your parents. This doesn't mean your parents won't want to put in their two cents, but it's up to you to make the best choice for you and your new family. Your parents don't have the authority to tell you what to do anymore. They have to trust they raised you with a sound mind, a good head on your shoulders. This isn't always easy for them because they will always want to protect you, you will always be their baby. The respect has become mutual from child to parent and now from parent to child.
I'm blessed to have a great relationship with both of my kids. Even when they were little, I gave them a voice, that has grown into a love and respect that few have. It isn't always easy as a parent to watch them hurt, but it is part of life and growth. It is a blessing to see them become stronger every day. I've had to learn to let them live their lives. That I can't always fix what is happening in their world. I want to fix it, no matter how old they are, but it now up to them to fix it.
This was a hard lesson to learn. With good intentions I reached out to help only to make the problem worse. That's when I knew I was to stand back and let them live their lives. I realized, I had raised them right with confidence. They were equiped to face the world and didn't meed me to fix it for them. They still love me but no longer need Mom to fix their hurts, their hurts are now adult hurts. In that moment I was both proud and sad.
Sad because as a parent you always want to protect them from life's hurts. Proud because they are strong enough to live happy lives. Your children will always be our babies but they do grow up against our urgings not to.